When I first found out I was pregnant, I was just starting a new life in a work-to-housing program for homeless individuals and families. It was only my daughter and me. I was just a few weeks into my new life when I found out I was pregnant. I was really scared and I had no idea what to do! I felt the easiest way to “fix” it was to get an abortion, but I knew in my heart it was not right for me. At first, I felt I only had two options: keep the baby (and have no way to support myself and my two children) or have an abortion and live with my guilt.
I considered all of my choices. I prayed and prayed about what I should do, and eventually I found an adoption agency, Adoption Connection. I met with a wonderful counselor who gave me options and profiles of families to look at. She let me think about my decisions and in no way pressured me one way or another.
It took some time to find the right family. I was upset and stressed, but finally had lunch with a couple that was amazing. We laughed, cried, and answered questions we had. I told them I wanted them to raise my son. It felt like a weight lifted off me. I was happy knowing that no matter what, my baby boy was going to be safe.
Through the months of my pregnancy, I enjoyed seeing my son’s parents. We were like family. We cried together at ultrasounds, and I was excited to call them whenever something new happened. They also attended all of the doctors’ appointments. I wanted them to have the experience of being able to bond with our baby through the whole process, as I knew this is what I would have wanted had I been in their position.
Now, my pregnancy wasn’t all cupcakes and rainbows! It was so difficult when people asked what I was going to name my baby, or if I was excited. But I was honest with every person who asked. I told them my baby was being adopted, and his parents were going to decide on his name. I got the looks, the judgments, the “don’t do it!” speeches, but in my heart, I knew what I was doing was right by my son. It was also helpful, because after I gave birth, people were not constantly asking where he was, which would have made it harder for me to heal.
Months passed, and I finally went into labor! I called the adoptive parents, and they were on their way immediately. We all wanted to meet our baby boy! It was the most amazing labor experience. They talked me through every contraction, and you could just feel the love in the room.
After my son was born, I got to hold him first. He was so handsome that I immediately fell in love. It was hard to let him go out of my arms, because all I wanted to do was hold him and never let go. But when the doctor handed him to his parents, they were crying tears of joy. They hovered together, crying and smiling, finally joined as a FAMILY. I knew then that this was the most precious gift I had given to anyone. I was proud.
My son’s parents created a Facebook account for my son. They write stories and post pictures of what they do, and it somehow feels like I’m there sometimes. I love to watch him grow and see how happy and healthy he is. I catch myself smiling every time.